If an alien were to appear on your lawn, what would you say to
him/her/it?

1) Why the long face?
2) Before we shake hands, is your galaxy matter or antimatter?
3) Did you make that face on mars?... Oh, you thought it was us?
4) Do you really want to be taken to our leader, or would you rather
just go down the pub?
5) Did your insurance premiums go up after Roswell?
6) Before you arrived on Earth did you think it was full of little green
men?
7) So you got rid of all the bacteria from your planet by sending them
to earth on a metiorite did you?
8) Have you ever been abducted by aliens?
9) Could you make a few corrections to my copy of "A brief history of
time"?
10)Do you have mysterious crop circles on your planet?
11)Have you given your home planet a really dull name too?
12)So you've been watching our television?... Let me explain....
13)How did you feel when you found they'd taken off without you?
14)How much did the Viking Lander fetch on the martian antiques market?
15)Is it true that the rest of the universe tells "Homo Sapiens" jokes?
16)Did you actually mean to come here?
17)Come here often do you?
18)How's Elvis?
19)Have you ever eaten Smash?
20)Why do you only abduct americans in anoraks?
21)Will you please take Michael Jackson back?
22)Is it true what they say about Venusians?
23)Does the number 42 mean anything to you?
24)Is that a laser gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?


Courtesy of New Scientist.