> In article <32CF0FFB.68DE@iquest.net>, tisieb@iquest.net artesticulated
> >Subject:   e-mail virus warning - FYI
> >Date:   Sun, 05 Jan 1997 02:11:36 +0000
> 
> HOAX!!!! Although this isn't :
> 
> >Subject: Good Times Virus update
> >From: Michael Dillon <michael@memra.com>
> >
> >The latest breaking news on the GOODTIMES virus.
> >
> >   It turns out that this so-called hoax virus is very
> >dangerous after all.  Goodtimes will re-write your hard
> >drive.  Not only that, it will scramble any disks that are
> >even close to your computer.  It will recalibrate your
> >refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes
> >melty.  It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit
> >cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use
> >subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to
> >play.
> >
> >  It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number.  It
> >will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank.  It will drink all
> >your beer and leave dirty socks on the coffee table when
> >company comes over.  It will put a dead kitten in the back
> >pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when
> >you are late for work.
> >
> >   Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin.  It
> >will give you nightmares about circus midgets.  It will pour
> >sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows
> >while dating your girlfriend behind your back and billing
> >the dinner and hotel room to your Discover card.
> >
> >    It will seduce your grandmother.  It does not matter if
> >she is dead, such is the power of Goodtimes, it reaches out
> >beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.
> >
> >   It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you
> >can't find it.  It will kick your dog.  It will leave
> >libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice!
> >It is insidious and subtle.  It is dangerous and terrifying
> >to behold.  It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
> >
> >   Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease.  It will leave
> >the toilet seat up.  It will make a batch of Methamphetamine
> >in your bathtub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove
> >while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your new
> >snowblower.