Micro$oft Windoze taglines:

"Make your 486 a Gameboy; type WIN3 at the C:\>."
"Windows '95....the Bill Gates Virus."
"Windows-> The best $89 solitare game you can buy!"
50MHz 486 + Microsoft Windows = 4.77MHz 8088.
586, 32Mb 40ns RAM, 4Gb 2ms HD. Now Windows will beat DOS!
A better way to Double space your disk:  DEL C:\WINDOWS\*.*
Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.
And the only thing the Borg left was this copy of Windows...
Breaking Windows isn't just for kids anymore...
Coming soon from Microsoft: EDLIN for Windows.
Coming Soon... Edlin 95!
Delete Windows? (YES/YES/YES/no)
Dogs crawl under Gates, software under Windows.
Dos: Venerable.  Windows: Vulnerable.  OS/2: Viable.
Double the speed of your computer: DEL WINDOWS
Double your disk - DELTREE C:\WINDOWS
Double your hard disk space:  DELETE WINDOWS!
Error:015 - Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I...
Get more out of Windows:  Break them!
HAL 9000:  "Help me, Dave.  I can't run under Windows, Dave."
HAL 9000: 'Dave, put those Windows disks down. Dave. DAVE!!'.
How do you make Windows faster? Throw it harder!
I Don't do windows.      ...I don't have the time!
I've got 256K of RAM, so why can't I run Windows 95?
MASOCHIST: Windows SDK programmer with a smile!
Newsbytes - Microsoft announce EDLIN for Windows.
OS/2 - Windows with bullet-proof glass.
OS/2 VirusScan - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/y)"
Oxymoron: Fast Windows
Oxymoron: Windows Productivity
Running Windows is better than washing them! 8)
Smash all your Windows, then fix with OS/2
The difference between a virus and windows? Viruses never fail.
The magic of Windows - turn a 486-50 into a 4MHz XT!
Toto, look, no resending errors in Windoze - NOT!
Turn your 8 into a GameBoy ... Type WIN at C:\>
Virus scanner results: Windows found, remove? (Y/n):
Where can you get CURTAINS.ZIP for Windows ?
Win'95 Error:01C Uncertainty error.  Uncertainty may be inadequate.
Win95 manages memory better, but needs more to achieve it
Window-screen: An arrangement for keeping flies in.
Windows '95 will be released when 3.1 finishes loading.
Windows 96 will be released when Windows 95 finishes loading.
Windows 96: This time we fixed the bugs
Windows is *NOT* a virus, A virus does something.
Windows is loading. Try to remain calm.
Windows isn't CrippleWare -- it's "Functionally Challenged".
Windows NT - NT means Not Tested!!!
Windows NT:  No Thanks; Not Trusted, Not Today, Not Tomorrow.
Windows of Borg -  "Your patience will be assimilated!"
Windows to 486/50 MHz CPU: Don't rush me, don't rush me..
WINDOWS:  From the people who gave you EDLIN
WINDOWS: An Unrecoverable Acquition Error.
Windows: Brought to you by the makers of Edlin!
Windows: If I'd WANTED a Mac, I would have BOUGHT one!
Windows: Next best thing to sand in your hard disk.
Windows: The best $89 solitaire game you can buy.
Windows: The only virus with a graphical user interface
Windows: Veni, Vidi, Shelfi.
Worms Crawl underground..... software crawls under windows
If speed scares you, use Micro$oft Windows!
Speed Kills - Use Windows!
Oxymoron: Windows Expert
OS/2: The sane way to jump out of Windows.
No no no. The '95' part stands for the RAM required...
What? Give up C:\> for those stupid ICONS??? NEVER!!!
WindowError: 00c Memory Hog error. More ram needed.
void main(void) { if (windows == "useful") hell = frozen; }
Microsoft gives you Windows... OS/2 gives you the whole house.
Windows 95, Thats 1,2,3,4......93,94,95 : Murray Walker
Ever notice how fast Windows runs?  Neither did I...
800 lines ERIC, Don't open Windows3.1 - Bak 2 Skool
The Windows Eveready Bunny: It's still loading...